The holidays are coming. Everyone’s posting about gratitude and family togetherness and the most wonderful time of year.
But if your family is dealing with mental health challenges right now, the holidays might feel more like an endurance test than a celebration.
When “most wonderful time” feels like most stressful time
Here’s what we’re hearing from families right now:
Parents worried about their kid’s anxiety ramping up with routine changes. College students dreading going home because family doesn’t understand what they’re dealing with. Families trying to figure out how to manage gatherings when one family member is really struggling.
The holiday pressure is real. Everything’s supposed to be magical and joyful. Which makes it even harder when your reality is managing medication adjustments, therapy appointments that got canceled because of vacation scheduling, and relatives who think mental health struggles are just a phase.
The routine disruption nobody plans for
One thing that makes holidays particularly hard: routines fall apart.
Kids who rely on school structure suddenly have two weeks of unstructured time. College students come home to a different environment with different expectations. The therapy appointment rhythm you’ve built gets disrupted. Sleep schedules go sideways.
For people managing ADHD, anxiety, or depression, routine isn’t just nice to have. It’s often what’s keeping things manageable.
And then the holidays blow that up.
Family dynamics meet mental health challenges
Let’s talk about what happens when you go home for the holidays and your family doesn’t really get it.
Maybe they know you’re in therapy but don’t understand why you can’t just “try harder.” Maybe they think medication is giving up. Maybe they ask intrusive questions or make comments that feel judgmental even if they don’t mean it that way.
Or maybe you’re the parent trying to support your child through mental health challenges while also managing your own stress, your partner’s concerns, and extended family members who have opinions about everything.
The holidays bring people together. Which is beautiful when it works. And really complicated when it doesn’t.
The pressure to be “fine” for family
There’s this thing that happens during the holidays. Everyone wants things to be nice. So people pretend they’re fine when they’re not.
The young adult who’s been struggling with depression all semester comes home and acts happy because they don’t want to ruin everyone’s holiday. The kid who’s been having panic attacks at school puts on a good face for grandparents. Parents hide their own stress because they’re trying to make things special for their kids.
And then January hits and everything falls apart because nobody actually dealt with what was happening.
What realistic holiday management looks like
We’re not going to tell you to practice self-care and light candles. That’s not useless advice, but it’s also not enough when you’re dealing with real mental health challenges.
Here’s what actually helps:
Keep some routine. Not all routine – that’s not realistic. But some anchors. Regular sleep when possible. Continuing medication schedules. Maybe one virtual therapy check-in during the break.
Have the conversations before the holidays. If you’re going home and family is going to be difficult, plan for it. What boundaries do you need? What support can you access if things get hard? What’s your exit plan if you need one?
Adjust expectations. Maybe this isn’t the year for elaborate celebrations. Maybe it’s the year for something smaller and more manageable. That’s okay.
Don’t stop treatment during the holidays. The break from school doesn’t mean a break from mental health support. If anything, this is when you need it more.
When families need help navigating this together
Sometimes the biggest challenge isn’t just the individual person’s mental health. It’s the family dynamics around it.
Parents want to help but don’t know how. Siblings feel neglected because one child needs more attention. Partners disagree about treatment approaches. Extended family creates additional stress.
This is where family sessions can actually help. Not family therapy in the traditional sense necessarily. But having someone help the family understand what’s happening and how to support each other.
Because mental health challenges affect the whole family system. And sometimes the whole family system needs support.
Different communities, different holiday pressures
The holidays look different depending on your background and community.
For some families, there’s cultural pressure around mental health stigma. Talking about therapy or medication with extended family feels impossible. For LGBTQIA+ young adults, going home might mean going back in the closet or managing family who don’t accept them. For immigrant families, there might be generational differences in how mental health is understood and addressed.
These aren’t small things. Cultural context matters. And whoever is supporting you through mental health challenges should understand that.
You’re allowed to prioritize mental health over tradition
This might be controversial but we’re going to say it anyway: you don’t have to do everything you usually do for the holidays if it’s compromising mental health.
You can skip gatherings that are going to be harmful. You can say no to events that feel like too much. You can modify traditions or create new ones that work better.
Some families worry this means “letting mental health win.” But we see it differently. This is making strategic choices about what actually supports wellbeing versus what creates more problems.
The January reality check
Here’s what tends to happen: people push through the holidays, tell themselves they’ll deal with everything in January, and then January is a mess.
Better approach: make a plan now. What support needs to stay in place? What adjustments might help? What’s the plan for January when everything starts back up?
You don’t have to have it all figured out. But having some plan is better than hoping it’ll all work out.
We’re here through the holidays
We don’t take December off. We know this is actually when a lot of families need support.
If you need medication adjustments before the break, we can do that. If you need a therapy check-in during vacation, we can schedule it. If something comes up and you need same-day or next-day support, we offer that.
Because mental health doesn’t pause for the holidays. And neither do we.
We work with children, adolescents, young adults, and families in NYC. If you need support getting through the holidays – or starting the new year with better mental health support in place – reach out to us at (917) 740-5287.
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